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Sunday, August 31, 2014

Being sick..being a caretaker. .being a good friend

I have been sick a lot. Especially since I had breast cancer. I was not the best patient as I did not always communicate what I needed from others.

People want the best for you...they really do. People want to protect you they really do. We as patients want to be as normal as possible,  we really really do.

It is difficult to see a loved one in pain or being sick. You want to make it easy for them, you want them to get well and you will do anything to accomplish this.

Not only was I a patient, I was a caretaker for my dad and mom. I am the person you want in the room. I protect. Advocate. Question. What I have had to learn is I need to also fall back and temper my big personality.  As a patient and caretaker. ..I know the difference and at times I need to fall back.  

Caretaking is a mixed bag..you want to empower the patient and allow them to have what they want and allow them to make the choice that they want. You also want to make sure they make the correct choices so that they will get well.

You can't do both. Balance is important.  Respect is critical.  Boundaries are crucial. know you are not always going to be right or do the right thing. Just communicate your views and learn your role and you will get through this...
The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Saturday, August 30, 2014

6 steps to Communicating more effectively

We all make mistakes in relationships.    We don't listen and we talk too much.
We sulk and snear. We wait and act too fast.

Communicate is a word that is thrown around like it's easy. It's not. Communicating should be easy buts it's not.

Folks are talking and saying nothing. They have agendas.  They want to appear powerful and exert power; yet they have none.

I reiterate timing as it's crucial.  Folks got to be ready to receive your message and you got to formulate it in a manner that it can be received.

Six steps to communicating effectively.
1.Know what you want to accomplish with the conversation.
2. Start off with something nice or positive and it must be true...ijs
3. Don't get loud.
4. Allow the other party to respond without interruption.
5. Don't talk over the other party.
6. If it gets crazy stop it and revisit at a better time.

☆☆☆☆repeat and revisit☆☆☆☆
Practice makes perfect and don't give up if the relationship is important.  If it isn't wish, them well and move on.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Friday, August 29, 2014

Following God's plan

Are you good at following God's plan or do you get in your own way.

I get in my way. I doubt myself and whisper disheartening words in my own ear. Today, I met with a woman who was funny..wise..smart..tenacious and driven. Her spirit was infectious.  

She said to me : "Vickie,  I followed God's plan."

Hmmmmm. I thought. This opportunity will bring me visibility and I can learn. Hmmmm. This opportunity can position me. Hmmmmm.

Doubt starts to seep in....Pump your brakes..Doubt...I need you to have several seats. I am getting out of my own way.  I am following God's plan. I am ready, are you?


The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Www.opndoor.com


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Cancer bow down

6 years. 6 long years. I have been living with cancer. Since my diagnosis,  I have experienced tremendous losses. I have lost my breast, my mother, friendships, clothes and a job. My finances suffered and my self esteem plummeted.

Then, I rose. I rose to the test.  I gained self esteem.  I received recognition.  I gained true friends.  My husband and I became even stronger. I became a full time entrepreneur.

I was in charge of my life..whew.

Now,  cancer did not bring me these benefits nor did it cause the losses.
What it did do is force me to face my own mortality. I am aware that for today. .I am good. Simply because I am good. .I deserve to capture all the goodness that surrounds me.  I deserve to tell cancer. ..bow down
I am the annihilator. ..recognize.

I am here to tell you..fight.
Fight your naysayers.
Fight doubt.
Fight fear.
Fight despondency.

I am not where I want to be, but I damn sure ain't where I used to be.

Boom shaka laka boom

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Elation-Celebration-Devastation

Yesterday,  I received terrific news.
I just learned that I was approved to deliver parent education seminars. 

This is an important tool for my business.  I will need to market it, but once it catches on..it can potentially grow to be a money generator.  I am excited.  I met a gentleman who provided me with excellent guidance on how to network and gain customers.

Then,  I learned that I was being honored for my community service. .wow...

Then, learned devastating news..A gentleman died. A young omega. A friend to many of my sorors. A prominent hard working member of the community. My friends are crushed. The hurt is prominent.  He touched many.

I did not know him but I hurt for my friends. ..I pray for their comfort and understanding.  I pray for his frat brothers comfort.  I pray they take solace in psalms 23..it is a powerful prayer.

I can offer no words..I offer prayer.
We know not the day or the hour. .so please love your people. .mend your fences...Cause you just don't know.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Monday, August 25, 2014

6 steps to achievement - aka are you HUNGRY?

Are you hungry?  Do you know what you want? Or are you desperate? Desperate for money, fame, love, security?

When you are hungry, you can take a minute to plan to acquire what will fulfill you. You are willing to work harder and take greater risk. Hunger pushes you.

When you are desperate you will take any job and love who ever crosses your path. You will settle. I ain't settling. .no MORE!!

Something my bestie told me:
"All money ain't good money."


So if you're hungry for achieving.
Know what you want to achieve.
Know why you want to achieve it.
Know and use viable resources.
Stay tenacious.
Plan your steps, work your plan and stay OPEN..FLUID AND FLEXIBLE.

 
Stay hungry and don't allow the stink of desperation and Despair to infect your vision.

You are Unique and exquisite,  own it.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Slip . boom . crash the rug Is pulled out from under you

Ever had the rug pulled out from under you?  A financial stop gap has dissipated. You are mentally floundering. You have never been here before. What are you going to do?
These are precarious times my friends. 

The provable rug can be pulled out from under your feet in an instant.
I say this not to scare you or tell you the boogie man is  coming.  It's just to tell you to be prepared.

I also share with you, that if it does happen,  all is not lost. This is the time to use resources. ..All resources.
Start a business.  Let folks know your looking for work or guidance. Volunteer and stay busy. Have faith and hope. Don't panic- Storms come but they do not stay...ok

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Stepping forward. ..toward..Our dream

Today, I checked off a tiky tak!
I complete a proposal with the help of an amazing team.

Today,  I felt accomplished.  Today, I felt ..good.

Then my day got better, I heard from my bestie...she has taken a big step toward her dream. She is excited and I am excited for her.

Then my day got even better,  my Facebook timeline was filled with sorors, omegas, neighbors, friends, sisters and brothers all posting personal accomplishments.

Accomplisments! ! YES!!

When I see your success,  I see mine.

I can do this, we will do this. It is our time to step into our power! !

Own it!
Keep posting those milestones. Let's get our blessings. It is our turn.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

What will it take?

 
What will it take? Since blacks were brought to this country, we have fought and marched to live equally amongst our brethren. We simply want to be free. We have had to fight for every right that is available to the white man. To be able to walk down the street free of being harassed or killed.
 
From Emmitt Teel to Mike Brown, what will it take? You got the Klu Klux Klan going to Mo to fundraise. You got white groups protesting for the rights of the police officer who murdered Mike Brown. Really?
 
If this boy was white and killed by a black cop in a white neighbor hood, justice would be swift. There would have been an arrest and outrage across the nation. It seems as if the nation believes that we are supposed to be good little niggers or blackies and be satisfied for the status quo.....Well, I aint a nigger and I aint no blackie. I am a Woman and an American Citizen, who is of color.
 
I am determined to be an agent of change, positive change. I will vocalize my view and thoughts. I will vote and I will demand that my public servants develop laws and policies that apply equally to all.
 
Are you registered to vote? Do you vote? After you vote do you speak to your government officials? Do you participate in civil disobedience? Do you write letters to the editor? Do you help returning citizens get their rights restored? Do you empower our children with the truth about our history? Do you inform returning citizens that if they cannot get their right to vote back, that they are still citizens and they are still tax payers and that federal, state and local government officials still WORK FOR THEM?
 
Or do you point fingers and assess blame?
 
I am an active citizen. I am Vickie R. Williams Cullins, I am a registered voter, tax payer, business owner and I approve this message. I hope that you are active too. Simply, because it is going to take all of us to save our children and create a world where little black boys can safely walk in their own neighborhoods without fear of being murdered by the very government officials that our taxes pay to protect us.
 
The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
 

Monday, August 18, 2014

My Hands are up

The assassination of another black man troubles my soul deeply. In my own city, young black men are murdered by other young black men.
This is very troubling, however it becomes more troubling when black men are murdered by the police.

For centuries the police have had an acrimonious relationship with black folks.  Trust was not there. We look at them with the side eye. Even when the police leadership is of color. .we don't trust them.

Recent events seem to support that we should not trust them. But what should we do?  How do we gain trust back? How can they earn trust from the community of color?  We can't even come to the table..we are hurt..
We March and then we riot. We seemly show the police we can't act right. .but we can and the you incite with tear gas and dogs and battle gear.
Is this iraq..Iran. .China
.or the good old usa

Racism is here folks and it ain't never left. Our children's blood are coloring our streets. We have got to do something. .we got to change the police culture.  We got to change the mindset of shoot first...we got to stop. Blood in our streets.

We got to reiterate Hands Up..is surrender. .don't shoot to kill.

Rip Mike Brown
Hands Up

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/08/18/business/media/view-of-ferguson-thrust-michael-brown-shooting-to-national-attention.html?_r=0&referrer=

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Friday, August 15, 2014

1964 or 2014 and Ferguson

The last few days have been rough.
I have be saddled with a summer cold. For days I have watched and read about the unrest in Ferguson.
This must be how our parents felt.
Watching the police issue martial law over something they did. Killing an unarmed teenager and arresting the media. 
I want to know why did it take days for the governor to step in?
Why did it take days for the President to step it?
It was like we were living in a war zone.
No respect was given to the media
Which makes we wonder what the are hiding?
We have a right to engage in civil disobedience and martial law says otherwise.
We have to continue to speak up and speak out.
Our communities are becoming powder kegs we got to stop it.
These issues are not like a summer cold  &they cannot be ignored.  Our nation is sick . Sick with violence & disrespect. Sick with apathy and despondency.

What are we going to do? We have to start with our sphere of influence.  Speak to our children.  Work with our children.  Speak to our police. Teach them to defuse instead of inflame situations.  No blame just change.
One person at a time

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Suicide....the pain it seems to cure

I am very sad. I am sadden by the loss of a great talent.  I am sad that about whatever pain caused Robin Williams to end his life.
Suicide is the curtain coming down. There is no coming back. It's despondency at its worst.
If love could have saved him, he would still be here.
If money could have saved him, he would have still been here.
I believed he tried to get help but that the pain was insurmountable.

I have been there. I have been so despondent that I did not want to wake up. I couldn't pray it away. Noone could love it away.  I had to seek help and the situation that was the catalyst had to end.

Suicide is something that is spoken with disdain.  He had everything to live for.  Suicide is wound. Depression and mental illness is the disease.
This disease is not spoken about in the African American community.  We are to be strong.  Pull ourselves up by our boot straps.

This is the persona that we portray. When in reality,  we are swimming in doubt and hurt. We fill the gaping hole with food, drugs,  alcohol, sex and other bad behavior. Yet we never seek mental help..because it's taboo.

I still struggle with depression.  I speak to my friends, family, exercise. I continue to push on. I know that I am not alone.

I also check on my friends.  I reach out. I offer a non judgemental ear. I offer love and encourage them to get help.

I leave you with this, I love you. I don't want to lose you. Seek help if it gets too hard. Help is here, please accept it.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Monday, August 11, 2014

Tone-tempo-timing

You ever got in an argument that spiraled out of control.  I mean voices raised..explicit language used..names called..threats issued.

I mean you are trying to get your point accross..but the air is so agitated nothing can be heard.

The other party feels the same way..you are at an impass..what to do..oh my witw to do.

The 3 Ts

Tone-tempo-timing

The beauty of the 3 Ts is the can be used interchangeably.

In this instance timing is critical.  You both got to fall back and stop talking.  Walk away. Leave. Let the air calm down. Emotions are like tinder..If you rub them in a certain way the incite into flames. If the air is tumultuous it just fans the flames.

We want to stop it. We want to calm the air.  We want to choose a time that will be receptive of the discussion. 

Then we want our tone to be receptive. We want to pepper the conversation with positively and how it makes us feel. You know the I statements. 

Got it...Then the tempo...whew the timber in our voice must be controlled.  It should not be LOUD..or dismissive. Don't screech...now you get it. Communicate the way you would want.

Conflict is difficult but necessary.
Follow the 3 Ts and communicate with purpose and you will soon find yourself communicating effectively.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Family -celebrations - food aka turkey burgers

This weekend was comforting .fun..emotional. .relaxing. .

Visiting my bestie and her family is comforting. Loud laughter resonates throughout her home.  Lots of hugs smiles and intelligent passionate conversation.  Then there is the food....omg...the turkey burgers need no bread..no ketchup. .they are savory and tender.  Lots of love is mixed up in them turkey burgers.

Then we move on to celebrate our friend. Her childhood friend and a lovely man that I have known for 30 yrs.

Funn. .to just be in the midst of love and funn. Adult classy authentic funn. To hear and see the love in the room....just heart warming.

My T and I are passionate people.  We will fuss and get mad...Then it ends. We never stay mad for long. He is my world and I his. It's just what we do.

Our whirl wind weekend ends as it began. Lovely conversations with our friends. Hugs and laughter from their kids. Turkey burgers for me.
Street barbecue for the hubby.

Lovely ride back.....36 hours can be as eventful as you make it. Mix up love..swirl in passion..Sprinkle a little loudness and maybe a drop of mad.

Life is to short to hold your temper and to short not to forgive. You dig?

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Friday, August 8, 2014

Pity party .1o

Have you ever felt good for someone and felt sad for yourself at the same time. You are going through your Valley and people seem to be hitting the top of the mountain. You start to wonder what is wrong with me whatever and start to feel bad about yourself. You start to feel as if somebody is just ripping you off; that good things are not coming your way and you don't know why.

But I am NOT here to tell you that everything is going to be fine cuz sometimes you have those moments
Everybody acts like you're supposed to be strong all the time. Every body acts like having a pity party is a bad thing.  It's not. Actually having a pity party is a good thing. It proves  that you're strong  enough to be weak. That you understand that you are human. You are made of flesh and bone. You are riddled with emotions that reach highs and lows. They are supposed to.  There are times that you going to feel down  but where it becomes a struggle is if you stay at a pity party too long. So go ahead wallow in your drama. Go ahead feel sorry for you, also go ahead and just say damn I wish I had gotten that new anything.

I used to tell my mom that it was alright to have a pity party  you just can't stay too long.

However,  if you find yourself feeling hopeless -call someone.  If you Find yourself at the pity party too long seek help. Life is consistently filled with ups and downs. We just have to manage them the best that we can.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Silly is Essential for the working Girl

Yesterday,  I posted pictures of me being silly. I was making funny faces.
I love to have fun. I laugh loudly and love to dance. However, I am rarely silly in public. I tend to put forth a very professional persona while in public. Why? Cause that's what I want people to embrace and know about me.

I have had a colorful past and have worked very hard to interweave that experience into a well respected professional profile.

Well, I have been missing out. Sometimes, it's ok to be silly. When, you are caught up in the swirl of life - silliness is a relief.

So today, give yourself permission to be silly.  Stick your tongue out. Make funny faces. Dance around the living room. Relieve that stress,  your life and problems ain't going no where.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Being Loved

Love is the fuel to live.
At times love misunderstood.
At time love is misused.
At times love is a struggle.
At times it seems as if the pursuit of love is hopeless.
Love is like a kaleidoscope, it shimmers, dances, fades, pounces, burst, shines and darkens.
You define how you love and who you love.
You decide how much and how hard to love.
Love can propel or consume.
Being loved by someone that deserves my love gives me life.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Plans &Execution

I am in the planning mode. I am in the execution mode.

I have a couple of big projects on the table. I am planning collaborations with key people.  I need my plans to be brought into reality.

I cannot allow fear to stop my plans from coming to fruition.  I cannot allow inexperience to stop my plans from coming to fruition. 

I will execute my plans. Dreams will become my reality.  I have proclaimed and claimed it.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Crossroads

Are you at a crossroad? I am. I have a lot on my plate. I have set lofty public goals and they are staring me in the face.

I see my accomplishments,  but I need to do more. I see hope swirling around me, but I need to catch it.

Crossroads can be good or bad. You choose your path. Crossroads just press you to choose. 

I will create the yellow brick road. I will make my choice. It will be the correct choice. I will slice away doubt and Despair.  I will capture Hope and create my own happiness.  I may be at a crossroad but I remain unafraid of the path I choose.  I have Faith in a Higher Power and I have faith in me.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Sword of POWER

At the conference yesterday,  I introduced my new empowerment workshop: "Sword of POWER (c)".
Words are powerful. Words can build you up or tear you down.
During this workshop,  I shared my journey.  I shared my struggles, my resilience, how I gained power and found hope.
The participants identified words, phrases and people who convey -Struggle.
The participants identified words, phrases and people who convey - Resilience.
The participants identified words, phrases and people who convey-Power.
The participants identified words, phrases and people who convey - Hope.
The participants were the given Swords of POWER.
On the Sword of POWER, they were to write words that help them cut through Doubt and Despair.  Next they were to write words of Happiness and Hope. Finally, they were to sign it. This was a contract. A visual reminder, that within them, They Have The Power. .to keep going on. 
Words are powerful tools. Remember, you have the power to harness them for YOUR good.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
 



Saturday, August 2, 2014

Equipped for battle!!

Today is the day! I am excited and nervous.  I am ready to pour into women my spirit of resilience, power and hope. I know the struggle Is real but we got this.

I am ready to help these women unearth words of power that WILL BE USE to slice through moments of despair and doubt.

Today,  I pray for favor for us all.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Friday, August 1, 2014

If you do what you love the money will follow

I love to help people resolve problems. I love to share stories that inspire people. I love to talk.

I love to listen. Mediation and conflict resolution is right up my alley. I love to empower people and training is a natural fit for me.

As a African American breast cancer survivor,  I am compelled to tell my story. I want women to own their survival.  

I am a thinker and a visionary.  I am compelled to make a difference. 

I would do all of this for free, simply because it is my passion. I am walking my path. I am owning my vision. However,  I now know my worth and I fully intend to grab the brass ring.

http://daymondjohn.com/power_journal/do-what-you-love/

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Life and Favor