5 reasons why your way of communicating Ain't working

I know, I know, you are a great communicator. Folks listen to you. You are in a position of authority. Your staff follows directions. Your children act right. Your husband treats you like a queen. Your boo, treats you like a king. Yep, I get it.
Then, the other shoe falls...

You disagree with your boo. You have to train your staff. You have to discipline a member of your team. You have to discipline your child.

OK, 5 things that causes you not to get your point across.
1)yelling
2)blaming
3)shaming
4)closed mind
5)not listening

Wait, you never do this...right.
Yeah, right...
🙈🙉🙊 we all do this...even me. We got to look at what's truly not working in order to improve.
So..stop and give these 5 points some thought..you will be suprised how impactful reflection can be

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Disagreement -vs-communication

Aggggh disagreement sounds so sanitized. Conflict sounds so clinical. Argument sounds so scholastic.
What about a plain old fight.

I don't like what you stand for. I don't like how you say it. I didn't like when you said it. I don't like the fact you have the power to say it. I don't like that I don't have the power to reply.

Communication is necessary and is absolutely the hardness thing to do.
The question that you have to ask yourself: Do you know the power of communication? Do you?
🙈🙉🙊
The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Wow ....success in micro increments

Today, was my first parent education workshop. Was I successful, yes. I got 2 clients. Was I hoping for more ? Yes!!. But I got 2 paying clients.
I learned my curriculum. I engaged in conflict coaching. I did some marketing.

What did I learn? I need to be consistent. I need to be unafraid. I need to start marketing earlier. I need to meet folks. I need to provide directions. I need to cheer myself on. I need to keep pushing! This is only the beginning.....

👏👏👏
The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

5signs your job needs to hire a dispute resolution professional

Five signs that your job needs to hire a dispute resolution professional.
1)excessive absenteeism
2)blatant disrespect for management
3)blatant disrespect for coworkers
4)hoarding of knowledge
5)sabotaging co workers
The first thing is that most managers do is discipline. They fail to get to the core issue of the problem and the elephant grows.
Why do they fail to get to the core issue of the problem... Cause its uncomfortable.

This is when a dispute resolution professional comes in. This person is trained to help your team or provide you with the tools to get to the bottom of it!! Then you address or eradicate the issue and you will soon navigate the waters.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Elephant in the room

At your office ,do you have that one co worker who just irks you?
Do you have that ineffective supervisor?
At church ,do you have that gossiping deacon?
At home, are your siblings arguing over what will happen to grandmother?

Do you feel it? That's Miss Conflict. The elephant in the room. You don't know what to do with her. You don't like her. You try to ignore her. You attempt to go around her. You can't she's too big. You attempt to fight her, but she's too strong.

Then she grows. She gets stronger. She is out of control. Eek🙀

This is why its important to address MS. Conflict in the beginning. You know the signs. Listen. Act. Don't panic, call a mediator.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

I'm going to

Life is what you make it. You can do it. It's in you. You got the power.
Ahhhh, ok.
I know this and I am going to ...do what? You ever been stuck at I'm going to. Like a broken record. .it skips.skips.skips

I am just going to dive in. It's what I do best. Set an objective and step off the ledge..... I will either fall or fly. I choose to fly.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Domestic violence

Recent high profile events have brought domestic violence to the forefront.

Girlfriend knocked out on camera.  Child whipped with a switch. Sister fighting her siblings. A judge hitting his wife. A man cussing his wife out in public. 

All domestic violence.  All wrong. All illegal.  All u necessary.  All unexpected.  All unwarranted. All unprovoked.

Domestic violence can happen in marriages, families,  same sex relationships; actually any type of intimate relationships. 

How does it happen?  Why does it happen?  Power and control. Familiarity. .what you have always known to be the best way to change someone's behavior.

Can the abuser change?  Can the victim become a survivor?  Yes..but not immediate. .it is a process.

I have been a witness to domestic violence. I saw the cycle.  I couldn't stop her from returning.  I knew she was not stupid or weak. I just knew she couldn't stop being with him. She had to leave the country to end the relationship. I was a witness to this in college.  At 18.

Domestic violence is not a black issue, a poor issue, a football player issue , a male as the abuser issue.  It is everyone's issue.  We cannot stop informing and empowering our community to change their mind set.
We must continue to have the conversation.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence

http://m.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence

Business of parenting

I am a Mediator. I help parties Draft agreements.  I have written hundreds of custody agreements.  More often then not, they are about power and control. Sprinkled with hurt, loss of trust and lost love.

Now these parties have to craft an agreement and adhere to it. This is extremely hard without tools. This is where the business of parenting comes in.

I urge all parties who have to co parent to attend an parent education class. Learn to communicate.  Learn to manage conflict.

I now facilitate parent education classes.

My first one is on 9/27/14 From 9-1.
Contact me @ 757-816-4478 or vickierwilliams@opndoor.com or click on my website for more details: www.opndoor.com.

Let's work together to change the stigma of children who do not have 2 parents at home. Together we can change the mindset.  Together the parents can raise amazing children. .it just takes a little work.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

4 micro goals a day equates to motivation

What motivates you? Money, fame, pride or global recognition; Or is it fear of failure.

What stops you from reaching your goals? Is it fear of success?

I struggle with motivation, daily.  I struggle with procrastination,  daily.
I struggle with doubt, daily.

How do I overcome it? Micro goals.
Just four goals a day. Just four. I feel accomplished and it motivates me to push through Doubt and continue on the success ladder.

Did you set your 4 micro goals today?

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Business. Empowerment. Marketing. Awareness

Marketing your business is essential.
I know my businesses value,  but do you? Who do you market your business to? Everyone. Everyone that you think can use your services.

Don't put yourself in a box but don't over extend yourself. You need to target some groups or businesses. Which means that you need to be able to articulate your message.

Do you know your message and can you articulate it?

Being empowered means that you aware!!
There are several things that I am passionate about and they are as follows: voting, voting empowerment, absentee Voting, civic engagement, restoration of rights and breast cancer awareness.

I am passionate about these issues and I make a point of informing myself and others about these issues.

I own my own business,  Opndoor communications.  I developed this firm to ensure that the community, private businesses, faith institutions, non profit organizations and government agencies are able to communicate and resolve conflict in a fair equitable manner.

Information is Power. .become informed and be empowered.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Www.opndoor.com

9/ 11/01

I remember 9/11. I was at work and I heard about the planes hitting the twin towers.  My heart dropped.  I thought about my brother,  who traveled often by plane.  I thought about my new York friends.  I thought about my ny boo.

Then they hit the Pentagon.  My stomach churned.  I thought about my line sister. 

I spent all day calling everyone,  I cared about.  I felt sick. I felt unsafe.  I grieved for all the lives lost.  I marveled at the first responders....the heros.Then, I learned my class mate's son was killed. ..the pain got a little closer. 

I pray for healing.
Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Stuff and Ray Rice

Tmz and Ray Rice are all over the news.
The video in the elevator is harrowing.
It's grainy..but you can see him cold cock her. She is out cold. He drags her out. Like a movie.

Fb is discussing it. Twitter is discuss in it. Espn. The Baltimore Ravens fired him. Nfl banned him for life.The NFL says they had no knowledge of the video. Tmz says they knew. All the public knew ..is that he dragged her out the elevator.

Questions-
He was already punished..why is the NFL punishing him again? What responsibility does she have..she hit him too? Should his personal life affect his professional? Should he be banned for life after he was already punished?

Why wasn't him dragging a woman enough to punish him? He had an education is football his only route? Noone should put their hands on anyone,  but who's the victim and whose the abuser? Accountability. .for who?

Have you ever seen a man hit a woman? I have and I saw her go back over and over. 
Abuse is complex.  She just cannot leave. He just can't leave. It's more to that.
Stockholm syndrome is real folks.
http://counsellingresource.com/lib/therapy/self-help/stockholm/

IMHO what happened to ray rice's wife was wrong. He should be punished severely.  He should get help. She should get help.  This could have ended up In a murder suicide and really I am still afraid that it still might?

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com

Today is a day of thanks

This last week has been harrowing. My favorite soror became ill.
However,  thank God she listened to her body and is on the path to healing.

Listen to your body. You are more precious then anything ..
Ever...

You are loved and needed and don't you ever forget that.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Re_______

Today-
Rest
Relax
Recharge
Release
Rebound
Reboot
Recover

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Joy and Pain

Joy is when you are recognized for following your purpose.  Joy is having people that care for you, sharing in that moment.

Pain is seeing a loved one hurt. Pain is knowing that you can do nothing to relieve their pain.

Joy and Pain can occur simultaneously. Prayer can help us manage both.
Remain prayerful - faithful-hopeful.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
Www.opndoor.com