Friendship is a wonderful thing. Friendship colors our lives. Friendship should be the foundation of any marriage or love relationship. Question, do you REALLY know how to be a friend? I mean REALLY?
I have always had friends. As a child I had a best friend. We were 5. We lived across the hall from each other. We would play happily at each others home..Then something would happen. Someone would get mad. Doors slammed. Loud stomping ensued.
Morning would come and we would be friends again. This pattern followed me to adulthood. I had a temper. I spoke my mind. I was often inconsiderate of others feelings. I took everything seriously. Too seriously. I rarely apologized and just allowed time to harden my position.
Becoming a dispute resolution professional was essential in my quest to become a good friend. Although, I kept secrets, I learned to be a confidant. I learned to own up to my part in the mess. I apologized. I set boundaries. Oh, yes I set boundaries.
I learned everyone who is friendly ain't your friend. I am candid but respectful. I now understand friendship is understand whe re someone is and accepting them for WHO they choose to be.
To be a good friend also means you know when to dissolve the relationship. You also have to understand that you will sometimes hurt your friend and be hurt. The difference in a friendship that is good for you is that you are okay with apologizing. Why are you ok, cause you VALUE this friendship and your friend VALUES YOU!
The difference between a good friend and a smart friend is a good friend is a yes man, a follower, a shmoozer, a make you feel good and never tell you no.
A smart friend supports you but will disagree with you. A smart friend will apologize. A smart friend can say I can't do it and the smart friend will not hold it against you. A smart friend can discern when a friendship is toxic and a smart friend has enough courage to dissolve the toxic relationship all the while wishing that friend well.
I strive every day to be a smart friend; which one do you strive to be?
The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva
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