Oh my God! I got 3 days to wait. 3 days until I find out what options I have to treat this cancer.
All I was thinking is that I got to tell my other brothers, my boss, sistah girls and my mom.
Terry wanted to go home and stay with me. I said no go to work. Let’s keep it moving.
I decided to walk! When I am stressed or angry. I walk. Walk a lot. So I got my dog (the fabulous Bootsy B. Bear) and I walked around my block with my cell making calls.
First I called my boss. She was shocked, supportive and encouraging (she always is)
Next I started to call my sistah girls. Let me say a little bit about my sistah girls. You see I have no sisters, I have 3 brothers. Which are great. I never wanted any sisters...made it easier to be spoiled by my dad you see. :).
Any who, I have amazing girlfriends (sistah girls)! These women are strong, ambitious, smart women who if you have them in your corner you will be able to do anything.
So I started to calling. First thing I said was what are you doing? They would say nothing and then I blurted out: ' I have breast cancer". Just like that. Again, remember I am straight no chaser. So if you are in my crew....you will know that.
I got several different reactions...What the f**k was my personal favorite! Tears not so much. The sad .....depressed voice....aggghhhggggh....Baby , I shut that voice down. Than there was the advice. I got a friend who had or had breast cancer. She did this and she went through that. ...agghghghghhghghghh....I do not want to talk to her either.
Now you may say why is that? You need the support , guidance, insight. Maybe, I may need that but not right now. I do not have enough information to gauge what I need and I need time to process this and I do not want my brain colored with opinions and experiences that may not be mine. Wasn't ready.
If anyone of my friends started to cry....I told them to man up...if you are going to be sad, do it on your own time. You see , I know how someone else's feelings can impact your own. So I know you are scared for me, but I need you to be strong for me. Because baby, I am going to be strong so join the Strength Party ....cause I am not feeling the weakness...not feeling it at all. I can do that all by myself...
It is now the 2nd day before we meet Dr. Eric B. I am now back at work. So I tell my coworkers that I have Breast Cancer. The big BC....
I received great support. Well wishes and stories about loved ones who have beat breast cancer and their experiences. Which was cool. You always want to hear about someone who has lived through your experience.
Now have you noticed I have not told my mom yet? My mom is amazing. She has been through things personally and professionally that would mentally cripple many people. She gotten many nicknames from me and my friends. One of my girlfriends says your mom is like Teflon nothing sticks to her. I say often she is like a weeble, she wobbles but don't fall down. I also call her Lazarus she raises from the dead baby...she will not go down. Now you may wonder, why did I not tell her immediately. Well because I need to make certain I had a full picture of what I was dealing with and my mom is kind of a drama queen...she can go over the top with the depression type stuff when it comes to illnesses. Now rightfully so as she has quite a bit going on with her now. She is a diverticulitis survivor, she has had diabetes for over 30 years and is now a dialysis patient... So girlfriend could be down a lot if she wanted to be.
So, I need to have my stuff together before I told her. Funny how God works, I did not really have a chance to speak to mom in any length during the time I was waiting to see Dr. B!
Vick the Communication Diva
www.opndoor.com
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