Back to my Breast Cancer Saga

The flag is waving Save the TATA

We have decided the save the TATA. The TATA lives for another day. Two of my brothers are with me. Jeff from Chicago and Kenny from VA beach. My cousin Roger is going to be there, Mom, Carmen (my adopted big sis) and of course T. Shoot I have an entourage.

Now the day before my surgery. I receive a call. An offer for a job. A job I really wanted and deserved. I am excited but cautious. I do not know the outcome of this surgery. Nor do I know the treatment plan. So I accept with a six week start date. More stress. More excitement. More decisions.

Now back to the surgery. When Dr. B comes out, he was like can I speak to Mr. Williams. My brother Jeff steps forth, but he meant T. No one knows we aren't married...but so what. T doesn't care he knows who he is to me. He doesn't care if you call him Mr. Williams...he steps up and handles it.

Everything has gone well. They got the tumor and I did well.

****remember I am a drama queen***** so I am calling for my mommy and Terry! I want my Terry and my mommy!

I saw my cut, brothers and girlfriend. Dr. B says he never seen so many people at one surgery... he did NOT know who to address first. he he

Aftermath of Surgery take one

The surgery was successful. I came out in one piece. I was alive with no funky side effects.

Dr. B told the Williams Family it was successful. The got the tumor and the sentinel node biopsy was clean.

The fact that the sentinel node was clean was essential in determining for a fact the staging of my cancer. So though I knew a lot, the surgery was the first step in determining the staging of my cancer and the next step to take regarding treatment options.

The next step is determining if we have clear margins. Clear margins are also critical because without them you cannot make and prepare an effective treatment plan.

You can find out if your sentinel node is clean during the surgery, but you cannot at this time determine clear margins until the mass and a sample of tissue has been removed and examined.

Dr. B has told me and my family that I should receive results in 3 days.

So now we wait.

3 days and we have a let down

Dr. B called as promised. The lymph nodes are clean. He got the tumor. There are no clear margins. I was like what. No clear margins. I am pissed. Good and pissed. Right now we cannot go forward. I am high on Percocet. In pain. We cannot go forward.

I do not want another surgery. I do not want to go under again. I want to move forward. I do not know what to do. I just got this job offer. I want the job bad. I am tire of commuting. I want to work in the field of mediation full time. That is my passion. It is what I have worked for. For 9 years. I created my own experience. It will finally pay off.

Now this. What to do? I have two options now. 2. I can have a re-excision or a mastectomy.

I told Dr. B. I wanted the TATA gone. It is a bad TATA. He said fine.

So I told Terry. He said fine. Just want you to consider reconstruction. Ok, whatever.

I started to just get madder and madder. What did I do to cause this stuff? Why my life going right and now was turned to the left. One of my coworkers had sent me a package while I was out. She sent stuff for my dog Bootsy and for me. One of the packages was a Whomp mallet.

Man , I loved that Whomp mallet. I blew it up and whomped it. I whomp the chair, I whomped the couch. I whomped the stairs. I scared the dog, I scared T. Shit , I scared me.

I just wanted to just beat something up. I was already over this cancer shit and its treatment. I was just over it.

Than I calmed down. I focused on the big picture ....which was what do I do next.