Why should I chose Mediation?

Why should you use mediation?

The primary reason that you should use mediation is because your will have a voice!!

Have you ever been in a conflict and all there is shouting? No one hears you. You know why? Simply, because all parties want to be heard! How can all parties be heard if everyone is shouting?

You need someone who is neutral to the situation. Someone who can set ground rules, facilitate dialogue and control the room.

You need someone who will allow you to have a platform for your story. That someone should be a trained certified mediator. Now, although mediators in the Commonwealth of Virginia do not have to be certified. I would suggest that you obtain a certified mediator as that would at least ensure that person has received training and has maintained that training to obtain the certification that is under the auspice of the Virginia Supreme Court.

Mediation is used in many situations. A very popular one is to use mediation to assist parties in resolving their custody, visitation and child support concerns .

The Commonwealth of Virginia currently has a program in place, that provides free mediation services to parties who petition the court for custody, visitation and child support.  The parties will be notified by Certified Mediator and an appointment will be set.

The Certified mediator will assess the situation to determine the appropriateness of mediation and if they deem it appropriate, the mediator will go through the rights and responsibilities of the mediator and the parties.

This is the time for the Non-Custodial and Custodial parents to draft an agreement that suits their unique family situation.

Why should you chose mediation?

 

  

 Mediation, generally, has a high success rate in achieving a mutually agreeable settlement

between the parties and avoiding the burdens   of a trial.

 

 

 

 The parties themselves choose and agree on  the resolution.

 

 Mediation may be faster than waiting months  or years for trial preparation, trial, and
appeals.  

 Mediation is often less expensive than   preparing for and going to court.

 

 Negotiation is facilitated by a neutral who  has training and experience in helping people

to resolve their disputes by mutual   agreement.

 

 

 

 The parties control the outcome and often   have a “win-win” result as opposed to having

the issues in dispute resolved by a judge or  jury. Parties understand their dispute better
than anyone and can address details that a

 

 

  

Once the parties haveAgreement   reached an agreement, the   mediator or the parties’  attorneys may record the

terms of agreement. If the
mediator drafts the

agreement, the parties will be

encouraged to have an

attorney review the agreement prior to signing it.

A signed agreement may be enforceable as a

contract. If a case is pending in court, the judge

may resolve the case by entering a court order

consistent with the agreement.

 

How Can I Prepare for Mediation?

  

Successful mediation depends on the parties'

willingness to negotiate in good faith and work

out a solution. Before beginning the mediation

process, it is good to know what your interests

are and to think about possible mutually

satisfactory solutions. Both before and during

the mediation, it is good to get legal advice and

other professional advice regarding the law, your

rights and obligations, the likely litigated

outcome of your dispute, and the cost of

achieving that outcome in terms of time and

money.

 

What Kinds of Disputes Can Be

Mediated?

  

Almost any kind of dispute can be mediated.

Some types include: family issues like child

custody, visitation, support, and property

settlement; community disputes like

neighborhood, environmental, landlord-tenant,

or land use complaints; insurance related cases;

construction disputes; personal injury;

commercial disputes ranging from small

business partnership problems to multi-party

corporate disputes; workplace related disputes

and special education disputes.

court might not.

 

 Mediation preserves relationships by

improving communication between the parties.

 

 Produces lasting agreements as the parties

are directly involved in creating them.

Who am I & What is Mediation & How did it get me HERE!!

Good morning all!! Thank you for following my blog and taking interest in my stories. I am hopeful that they have been entertaining and helpful.

I am sure that my stories have proven to be a Segway into who and what I do. Well, I want to introduce you to skill that has been essential in my professional, personal and community Activist growth.

Mediation.

What is mediation you might ask and how has it become so important in my life?

Well mediation is a skill set that is utilized to help parties resolve their issues. The mediator is someone who has no ownership in the outcome and is completely neutral. In 1998, my bestie introduced me to mediation. She shared with me that her school had brought a team of mediators to the facility to assist them in resolving their issues. She remarked that I innately had the skill to successful.

I researched it and found it interesting. I was in the middle of grad school and did not have the money to take the course. My mom agreed to invest in me, if I would do something with it.

I did. Mediation taught me how to facilitate, how to ask clarifying questions, how to reframe and rephrase questions, how to effectively control the room and how to effectively communicate. I received excellent comments on my skill set and I have become the go to person for conflict resolution amongst my personal and professional circle.

I decided to use mediation as the platform my business which at the time was named Peaceful Purpose. To learn more about conflict and how to resolve it, I began to train. I developed life skills trainings for women in addiction and I learned I had a natural affinity to train.

I leave you with this:


To resolve Conflict you must have The Conversation.

To have the Conversation, you must Communicate.

I will help you have the Conversation and provide you with the tools that help you to Communicate better.

As your Mediator, I will help you to have the Conversation. I will guide you into designing solutions that benefit everyone involved in the Conversation. As your Mediator, I will ensure that everyone is heard. Contact me @757-816-4478 or via email @ vickierwilliams@opndoor.com or follow me @ opndoorcom. I plan to be your go to conflict specialist, call on me and allow me to help you draft a unique solution created just for your needs.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

 

Riding the surfboard and taming the WAVE called life.

We all are dipping and dabbing. We weave and bob. Life is a trip.

My weekend was busy and interesting. I was installed as 2nd Vice President  of the Chapter of my beloved Sorority. I spent time with my husband and my dear sister and her mom.

I was presented with several opportunities. I have submitted information and I am pressing on in my quest to create more opportunities for myself, my company, my friends and my community!

Doubt is a cancer. It suppresses your capabilities. Doubt strangles your drive. Doubt impedes your progress. Doubt disrupts your future.

I struggle with doubt. I often think that I am not educated enough, I do not have enough experience and that I am not presented with the right opportunity. I go through. WE all go through. However, we get on the surfboard of chance, challenges, risk and hope and we ride that WAVE called life.

When you continue to manage your challenges, face your fears, take chances and risk and maintain hope....LIFE is Managed!!

We got this!@

Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Doubt run over by true friendship and faith

Again,  this morning I was doubting myself. Then I got a phone call out the blue for my line sister. I told her my dilemma and she shared with me that she understood. She then told me that I needed to walk in my Grace. She told me I needed to have faith. She told me that regardless how or what decision was made, I was to do it.

 

I did it. I had some spaces missing. However, I  submitted the completed proposal on time.

My line sister told me that she would check up on me this evening and I was to have this proposal completed and submitted on time. I did just that. I am proud of myself, because I learned a lot about the process. I intend to continue to slay that monster called DOUBT.

 

I love my line sister. She is a woman of God and she has foreseen  that I will be successful. My blessings will be bountiful and she will be contracting with me in the near future. She is very very proud of the risk that I am taking and that I am building my business and building my dream. I needed to hear that this morning. I am thankful and grateful have the best line sister ever.

It is truly funny what people see in you.

I leave you with this: "Excuses are tools of incompetence. They build monuments of nothingness.  Those who specialize in their usage seldom accomplish anything but excuses."

 

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Struggle is real

I am struggling today. A bit frustrated at my doubts. A bit frustrated at some push backs and fall throughs.

I want to crawl in my bed and stay.  I do not want to receive another no.

Do you ever feel that way? I am having a pity party today.  Don't worry its going to be a short party. I promise.
The struggle is real.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Opportunities are given, opportunities are made, opportunities are lost but we do not turn around, we press on .....

Another opportunity to share my talents with someone.

Another opportunity to sell someone on my capabilities.

Why don't they know?

Why don't they see what I see?

It is frustrating.

The unknown, the unseen, the un......

Then, I reread the words that my little sister posted yesterday.

"There are times when your journey seems futile...you see no end in sight... do not abandon your course....this is not the time to turn around...This is the time to select an alternate route."

Press on. We must press on. This is no time to turn around. No time to Falter. Press on.

Love and disappointment

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 80 years old. Bob as many called her, was the yin to my daddy's yang.

High school sweethearts,  they remained married until the day that he died. Smart, beautiful and strong. She could handle anything.  She was a iron fist in a velvet glove.

When he passed, I was afraid that she would go shortly after. So afraid,  I asked her. She said no, she was going to live. And live she did. She manged her business,  Bobbie ' Cleaning.  Worked In her church and the community.  We went to concerts and broad way shows.

Together, we handled everything.
Then kidney disease showed it ugly head.
Kidney failure is a brutal side effect of the diabetes that she had battled for years. Kidney disease frightened my mother. I had never seen my mother frightened.  I saw her fearful..but not frightened. I was determined to be brave for her.

She hated it. She did not want to go on dialysis.  She only went when her doctor told her she would die.

She did it. Then, I got cancer. Then , I had to be brave for me.

For 9 months, we fought our medical demons. We had victories. I finished chemo and married my T. She had many valleys.  Many, but she fought them.

Then, came the final valley or the greatest victory.  November 23 2008 is seared in my brain. I found her on the floor.  She was on her pallet. The TV blaring. I knew. I was on the phone. I ran to her. Her hair was damp. She was cold. She had passed peacefully in her sleep. She did not suffer. It is hard to convey my feelings. I could only think, why? Why now?

I was angry with God for  a very long time.

I finally got it. It was her time to go home and be reunited with Ray C.

I get it. I was to learn about real courage. She taught me so much, but this final lesson was powerful.  I needed courage to manage this unexpected loss.
I needed to face it by myself.  I did. I planned her funeral and spoke at her service.

I was brave.

Since, her passing, I have experienced many valleys. I have been down, but never out.  I remain brave, simply because of her lessons.

Happy birthday Bobbie Jean. Thank You for the lessons.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva.

Troublesome & Love letter to my Daddy

This weekend has been troublesome. I lost my oncologist. If you have had cancer a relationship with your oncologist is your life line. A good, smart oncologist is an essential member of your team.

We had been together for 6 years. SIX YEARS!! Friday was her last day and I was in tears.

I made her a thank you card from me, T and Bootsy. She was appreciated it and cried too. She is only going to Fredericksburg, but it does not matter....I now have to learn and bond with a new oncologist.

I am confused as to why I am not motivated to finish a project. I know I can do this, I have to find my motivation and push through this quagmire of doubt. I MUST!!

Father's Day. Today is the 18th year that Ray C. Williams is not here to celebrate Father's Day with us. Eighteen Years.

Love letter to Daddy.

Daddy, you were a complicated man. At times you were cruel and at times loving. You showed me how a man should treat his wife. You should me how a man should support his family. You also showed me, what I should not tolerate in a man. You showed me that a true man, can and should own up to his mistakes and his transgressions. Daddy, you were not a perfect man, but you were perfect for our family.

At 50 years old, I can giggle at your craziness and wonder at your strength. I now know that your mistakes, were from you inability to manage some things, some situations, some stuff. I know that the bottom line was that you did your BEST to take care of your family. You and Mommy planned to send your 4 children to college and you did it.  You were savvy and slick . I loved that about you. You laughed loudly and smiled brightly. I loved that about you. You took risk and owned up to your mistakes. I loved that about you.  You could walk into a room and capture an audience. I loved that about you. You were friendly and knew how to be a friend. I loved that about you. Your word was your bond. I loved that about you. You had the ability to go from the shot house to the white house with out missing a beat. I loved that about you.  You knew how to party. I loved that about you.  You worked 2 or 3 or 4 jobs to care for your children. I loved that about you.  You believed in helping others. I loved that about you.

You loved your wife. Oh, did you love your wife. I loved that about you. You were hard on your children. Now, I understand, why.  You wanted your children to be the best. You wanted your children to have the intestinal fortitude to withstand any and every thing that may come their way. You were proud of your children. You loved your children and Daddy, we loved you.

I had hoped to find a man, like you. I did. Daddy, you would have loved my husband.  He is an amazingly
complicated man. He is just right for me and because of you, I had the tools to love such a great man.

Daddy, not a day goes by that I do not laugh at one of your antics or  tell one of your stories.

I get it now. Despite your mistakes. Despite some of the challenging ways that you handled some situations.  None of them injured me. Nope sure didn't. Instead they strengthened me. They gave me a foundation. The reason why they strengthen me, is because your love and admiration for your family overcame your mistakes. You may have been a challenging man, but by God, you were the best daddy, this girl ever had.

I love you, Daddy. I love you fiercely. You were fine, fine man. I miss you and will raise a glass of Johnnie Walker today, to your memory.

Love,

Sissy

Violence is Violation of my Space. What can be done? What can we do?

I have a right to leave in a city without violence. I have a right drive on the highways without fear of being shot. Violence is a violation of my space. Yep, it truly is.

What is becoming of our society that people believe that have a right to react in a manner that is so violent and vile? Who gave them permission?

Its not just young black folks, its not just young white folks, its not just educated folks, its not just rich folks, it is folks...just folks.

Its not thugs anymore. Naaaa, its not. Its young people who have no moral compass. Like this young girl who believed it was ok to hire someone to kill her family. Really?

Or this woman in an argument with her brother over weed? She killed him and now her entire family is in turmoil.

What about the director's son who killed 6 people? He had a plan to kill women and he posted it. What in the world?

What about the 2 shootings on I64? Who does that? What motivates you to shoot people as you are driving on a highway?

It seems as if folks no longer have a moral compass nor do they have the ability to control their impulses. Ok, it is not like serial killers and violent folks have not existed throughout time. It is just that now, we are bombarded with their actions. We have become an instantaneous society. We all want people to know what we have done now!! We post it on the internet utilizing various modes of social media. We are drawn to the drama. We want to become the drama. We seemly feel as if we have a right to impose our wills on anyone. Then when we are caught we apologize. We pray. We ask God for forgiveness.

I get it, but when will we think before we act. I get the 2nd amendment, but I do not want to go into Target and see a cat with an assault rifle. We might get mad at each other in line and he may shoot me. That is a reality folks. I believe if you start to see folks of color in Target with assault rifles, you may think twice.

Violence has become interwoven into our existence. We all have to develop the ability to watch our backs and give folks the side eye. We need to control our impulses and instill in ourselves and our children a moral compass.  Folks, you do not have the right to violate my personal space with Violence. I will not stand for it and you should not either. Right is right and Wrong is wrong.

Know the difference and if you choose to do wrong, own the results of your actions.

I do not know what has caused this huge surge of violent activity. I am not sure if it is mental illness, no morals, sexual abuse, no home training, poor parenting, drug abuse....I can go on and on. For all, I know it could be a combination of them all or none at all. The person could just be a psychopath. Oh, I forgot that is mental illness, my bad,  I digress.

Regardless, this is our community. You have the ability to affect your small sphere. Use your powers for good.  Impact your small sphere in a positive manner.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

I don't like you, but I do not HAVE to demean you

Lots of stuff has happened in 24 hours.
Eric Cantor lost the republican primary.
Folks are still Facebooking about the chick who chose to breast feed at graduation. Tracey Morgan's mom is not allowed to see him. Casey Kasem's wife and children are fighting over his dying body. 

It is obvious there are a lot of folks who are glad Cantor lost. I am amongst that group. Many folks are on the fence about the breastfeeding graduate.  I support het right to breastfeed,  I just had some heart burn with it being at graduation. 

Folks are up in arms about Tracey Morgan's mom. Did the fiancee over step her boundaries?  Does mom have a right to see him? We will only know the truth as it is being told by the tellers.

On the flip side the fight between Casey Kasem's children and wife..is stomach turning. Courts involved.  Angry statements thrown. Sad.

There are better ways to handle these issues.  Even if you don't like them handing yourself with class will go a long way!!

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Keep on keeping on. Drive is essential

Dreams. Drive. Sacrifice.  Risk.
Do you have a dream?
Do you want success?
Are you willing to sacrifice?
Are you willing take the risk?

Dreams are great. However, in order for dreams to materialize,  you got to visualize ...quantify. ..solidify. .create a goal.

All, I have ever wanted to do was be an entrepreneur. I dreamed about being a big time mogul.  I had a huge office and many people working for me. I DREAMED BIG!!

I didn't do much about setting goals. I wrote stuff down. Gave myself titles and started projects.  Didn't finish them. Lots of false starts and dangling broken dreams.

Then, I decided to set goals. I am achieving some. It is amazing to see my broken dreams start to piece together. 

It is like a mirror that I am slowly finding the pieces for. I see me in my dreams. I see me in my dreams. I am driven.  I am planning.  I am willing to sacrifice. I want success.  I deserve it.

Do you dream? Do you want to bring your dream to fruition?  Visualize your self walking working living your dream. Then set goals. Mark them off. Own it.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva.

June-month of success, change & risk

Have you ever thought about what June represents? Graduations abound. Students taking their first steps to adulthood.  Young people experiencing thier first documented successes. 
New experiences on the horizon.
Risk being taken.
At our bonus niece's graduation,  the speaker encouraged the students to take risk and anticipate failures. 
To understand failure is ok and should be expected but not owned. .

June is that month of Risk..change and evolution.  Allow this month to be your foundation for evolution. .for risk..anticipate failure but dont own it. Learn from it and let it strengthen and motivate you to continue to grab for that brass ring!!
Nothing can stop you but you!!
The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

Building my business and friendship

I purchased a website. The web address is www.opndoor.com. It was a necessary expense to present a professional presence. 

I am working on my infrastructure,  it is a task. I want to do this right...the first TIME.

I was exhausted.  I needed a minute.  Spent time with my beastie and our dear friend.  Supporting her Temple.  It felt good to be with good people.  Had fun and relaxed.

All work and no play makes Vickie a dull disillusioned girl. Must work hard and play a little.  Its good for the SOUL.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva.

Constructive Criticism is it helpful or harmful?

What exactly is constructive criticism?
How can criticism be constructive?
I mean REALLY?
We all criticize someone. 
Is the criticism positive?
Is it helpful?

I think for criticism to be constructive it has to come from someone you respect or at least someone you can respect.

Constructive is often perceived as a positive term yet criticism has negative connotations. Yet these words together can bring about positive change in people.

I am in a growth period.  I have HUGE dreams and goals that I intend to meet.

I do not know everything.  I am open to constructive criticism.  I am NOT open to destructive terminology being thrown my way.

Today....be positive in your criticism of  others. Today be positive in criticism of your self. You and others are growing,  don't stunt your growth with poison words.

The Adventures of Vick the Communication Diva

OPN-Door Communications LLC

Running, managing, owning your own business is HARD WORK! !

Today, I spent the greater part of my day working on my capability statement.
This statement is like a resume for your business.  It must contain certain elements and terminology to make your business attractive to government agencies.

Wow......who knew. I know now and I am thankful that I took Contracting 101 from Q10 Government Contracting LLC. This class provided me with step by step resources.  What to do, how to do and what to say.

I have always wanted to run my business full time and profile my business in a manner that agencies are attractive to me.

This is my first step. I am investing in me and I am willing to work HARD to achieve my goals.

Ahhhh but can someone post the best inexpensive website hosting WITH email
so I can have a #.comprofessionalprescence
Ijs......sheesh

Cancer. Survivorship. Cancer. Sucks rocks. I am a Survivor and an Annhiliator......

Today is June 1, 2014. June 1st is National Cancer Survivor Day.

I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on 2/26/08. My world was forever changed.
Cancer sucks. It is not fun and I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Once you are diagnosed, you are forever known as the person with  cancer. Some folks can handle that moniker, some cannot. I can.

When, I was diagnosed, I immediately named myself-Vick the Breast Cancer Annihilator. Reason being, is that I wanted to destroy cancer. I have survived lots of stuff. A fire, my daddy's death, bad jobs, bad friends and bad love affairs. I could not just survive this. I had to take control of this. I had to destroy this.....cancer.

Since, the day of my diagnosis; I have experienced 5 or 6 surgeries, 6 rounds of chemo, chemo brain, chemo induced menopause, chemo induced neuropathy, depression, sexual issues, the death of my mother, the loss of my job and an internal struggle to stay strong for ME. I live with the possibility that cancer can come back and come back with a vengeance. Every death from cancer , especially Breast Cancer....frightens me. It truly does.

I am very thankful for my family, friends, sister girls, sorors, my dog Bootsy and my Husband, Terry. Thankful for their unwavering support. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.  I really don't. I also do not want anyone to dismiss the seriousness of the side effects that cancer survivors experience. I really don't. Do not placate me, when I complain. I need to vent. Do not say that you are sorry, it is not necessary, I just need you to listen. I did not ask for breast cancer. I did nothing to receive this deadly diagnosis. I do however choose to accept my fate and fight it with all that I can. I am a child of God. I am Ray C. and Bobbie Jean Williams' baby girl. I am Mike, Jeff and Kenny's Baby Sister. I am Terry's Wife.  I am a fighter. I am a cancer annihilator.

I choose to survive, and to fight another day

 

.

 Breast Cancer